Fascinated With The Wrapping Paper
The very same Monday I put in my two weeks’ notice at work, my roommate Becca texted me and told me to check my email. My inbox showed a message from her saying that she shared a little bit of my car situation with her dad, and that he wanted to support my ministry time in Sacramento through buying me a new transmission for my car.
Ummm…WHAT?! I knew we were talking about him spending a couple thousand dollars.
Becca picked me up from work that day (remember, I was still car-less in Texas) with her dad on the phone.
“Yeah, me and Becca’s mom were thinking about it and maybe it’d be better to just get you a car. The car you had was probably on its last leg all around. We know some good used cars for sale that you could look at, and if you like one of them, we’d gift you the car.”
*Queue head shake and laugh*
After not having any words, I finally found at least three words to say over and over: “Wow. Thank you! Wow! Thank you! WOW. Thank you!” When I came back down to earth, I shared with Becca’s dad that my stepdad owns an auto repair shop in Washington State and is very knowledgeable on vehicles. I asked if it would be okay to include him in this conversation. And it was a done deal.
After the phone call with Becca’s dad, I was still trying to process what had just happened. With heightened emotions and my mind running wild, questions quickly started scrolling across my brain: Does this mean I’m supposed to stay in Texas? Do I stay in Texas until I leave for Sacramento? But I had to quickly remind myself that the Lord had given me a clear word, and His word is what I had to stand on. His specific word to me would need to be the anchor and foundation for this next season, especially when doubts and questions would arise. Still sitting in Becca’s car, I silently concluded that it was going to be a fun road trip from Texas to Washington in my new car! Then Becca’s phone rang again. Her dad was back on the line.
[God’s] specific word to me would need to be the anchor and foundation for this next season, especially when doubts and questions would arise.
“You know what, if your stepdad is good with cars and wants to help you look for a car in person – we’ll just gift you the money that we would have spent on a car down here.”
Yep, that’s the queue…
*Head shake and laugh*
I was beyond humbled at this point. Becca leaned over and said, “Kelsey, I’ve never seen him do that for anyone other than his kids.”
I was trying to wrap my brain around all of this.
“Becca, it doesn’t make sense. It’s not like you and I have been friends our whole lives. I haven’t given him my kidney…this isn’t a fair trade!”
Then Becca dropped some much-needed truth on me.
“That’s grace, Kels. You thought the answer to your question about staying or going was the gift – but that’s just the wrapping paper. There’s a lot more to this gift than just the packaging.”
Yep, she was preaching!
The song Reckless Love by Corey Asbury has spoken to my heart since I first heard it. There is a line in the song that says, “I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it…” These words kept playing over and over in my head that night. Having grown up in church, the concept of grace was one of the hardest concepts for me to wrap my head around for my own life. But that night I realized something about grace: it is not to be understood, but just to be received. Grace is to be dwelled upon and to be in awe of.
But that night I realized something about grace: it is not to be understood, but just to be received.
I can tend to be one who keeps a record of wrongs – for myself, and for others. If anything, I have often striven to be the “more generous” one in any given situation so that people would not think I was ever taking advantage or failing to contribute. But grace is something I can’t earn or repay. I am left humbled and grateful, time and time again. I hope to always stay in a state of grace, a state of humility and gratitude.