Val is my best friend in the entire world. Her faithful devotion to Jesus is rivaled only by her steadfast love for others. She has been walking through a season of uncertainty and – in many ways – is still in the midst of it today. Together with her incredible husband, she continues to show me what it looks like to surrender to the Lord daily and to trust God fully. For over seventeen years, I have been blessed by Val’s compassionate heart and loyal friendship. I have never seen another person consistently choose joy the way Val does, and she inspires me more than she could ever know.
Friends, no matter what you are facing today, you are not alone. There is nothing beyond the reach of our Heavenly Father. Our God specializes in the impossible, and He will never abandon you. If you are in the middle of a difficult season right now, it would truly be my honor to pray with you and for you. May sweet Valerie’s words below bring you deep hope and divine encouragement today.
You are dearly loved,
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.”
– Jeremiah 29:11
It was a few days before June 27th and my monthly cycle started again, making it the second time in just four weeks. I decided to ease my mind and take a pregnancy test, even though I knew being pregnant was impossible because I had a Mirena IUD. There is a 0.3% chance of a woman getting pregnant with this birth control. Needless to say, the test came out “positive” and I immediately texted my husband with an urgent and terrified “ASAP Emergency call me now!”
Robert received this alarming message just as he was walking into a meeting with his new boss. He politely excused himself and called me right away. I told him the inconceivable (no pun intended) news right before he walked into a huge business meeting… poor guy!
For the next few hours, Google became my worst nightmare. Everything I read said if you have a positive test it could be an ectopic pregnancy and you need to go to the ER!
I called the doctor’s office. My OBGYN does not work on Wednesdays. When the nurse called me back, I remember her asking me a lot of questions. One of the questions she had to ask was, “If it is a pregnancy, would you want to continue with the pregnancy?” I know this is part of her job, but the pain of knowing that this is even an option just hit me hard! My heart fell when I thought about the reality of abortion. Throughout this entire process I have been asked that same question two more times by different professionals. I just can’t imagine…
The nurse asked me to come in ASAP for a sonogram and blood work. The image below is what I saw that day! If you look closely you can see the IUD right below the sac.
The on-call doctor thought that maybe I was losing the baby, but the blood work would come back and would give us more information. The next day, my doctor called me. She said she had heard I “stirred up the office yesterday!” She had never before had anyone with an IUD get pregnant. Haha! The blood work showed some levels to be lower than normal so her suggestion was to do a second round of testing and for her to take the IUD out.
I went in on Friday for the procedure to remove the IUD. Prior to pulling the IUD out, she told me that IF I wasn’t already having a miscarriage then there was a 50% chance I could have one with the removal of the IUD. There would be no way to have a safe pregnancy with the IUD in place, so removing it was the only option. She told me to come back on Monday, but that she would be out of town. They called me with blood results and the HCG numbers didn’t double but did increase a little, and my progesterone was low.
My emotions at this point were a mess. I cried most of the weekend as I really didn’t know what to expect. I was still having a lot of bleeding and a lot of really painful cramping. Knowing that I had thought I started my period earlier that month, I assumed I could only have been about 3 weeks along. We had a long weekend crying, praying, and laughing about how crazy it was that this had happened. Our emotions were at an all-time high thinking about everything. Prior to the appointment Monday, I remember sitting in my car praying so hard!
“God, you are in control. My body is yours, I trust you. I will be okay no matter what.”
Going into that second sono I was so nervous. The below picture was what showed up on the screen!
OMG!!! I was completely in shock. I literally had no words. Robert was at home watching the kids and I think he nearly had a heart attack as I was texting him this information…
God, you are in control. My body is yours, I trust you. I will be okay no matter what.
I couldn’t believe what was on the screen. During the sono we saw a little heart beat on Twin B, but no heartbeat seen on Twin A (Yes, TWINS!!!). The doctor came into the room, and told me there was a possibility I could be losing Twin A since I was still experiencing severe cramping and bleeding. He told me to wait another week and to call in if I started feeling worse. So I would have to come back the next week for more answers! My progesterone was still low and more blood work was required.
Our “plan” had not included another pregnancy… and definitely not twins! It was all seemingly impossible, absolutely unexpected, and an intense emotional roller coaster. Laughing, crying, praying, thinking… we had so many unanswered questions: Can we do this financially? (Daycare is $1,000/month per child and we already have two!) Is our house big enough? Do we have everything we need? What are we going to do? Our minds were racing with ALL of the STUFF you worry about. I had to take deep breaths and remind myself that God will never abandon us, and that all of this was happening for a reason.
Fourth of July week rolled around and we went up to Wichita Falls to visit family. It was a nice relaxing week, even though I still was experiencing some scary complications. On our drive home I felt some cramping and excessive bleeding. I told Robert I wasn’t sure I could make it home without pulling over. Minutes later, Miles threw up! We definitely had to pull over now! Haha!
I had to take deep breaths and remind myself that God will never abandon us, and that all of this was happening for a reason.
I want to take a moment to thank my husband. Robert is amazing. He cleaned up most of everything and changed Miles as I was running to the bathroom with my own change of clothes in hand. I knew something was wrong. It was a nicer gas station, but one stall was out of order and there was a line of women! I had to hurry. I came out crying. I walked up to the car with my half-naked son standing outside of the car next to my husband. I just cried in his arms. My heart sank. I just knew I had lost at least one of my babies. The next few days were really hard. I was cramping so badly. I would slowly move from the couch to the bed, all while Miles was sick and had caught a viral infection. Did I mention how wonderful and amazing Robert is? It was technically his “vacation” and he used his time off work to take care of all of us.
Three days after that fateful drive home from Wichita Falls, it was time to go back to the doctor for my next appointment. Robert came with me and I was more nervous than I had ever been. This is what popped up:
Both babies had a strong heartbeat! We were both in shock. It was a miracle! I thought Robert was legitimately going to pass out. The Sonographer asked him if he needed to sit down! Ha.
The unexplained bleeding, clotting and cramping continued and that is why the doctor was concerned. For the next three weeks the symptoms and emotions were high, and I would have several more sonograms and visits with my doctor. The babies were measuring seven weeks at that point which meant that I had been wrong with my initial calculation.
These babies are resilient! Despite the odds stacked against them, everything has been good thus far. God is in control. I know this. The hardest part is remembering that no matter what I do, I have no control over what is happening. Many times I had to fight back thoughts like maybe I shouldn’t have walked around the mall for that long or maybe I shouldn’t have gone to this or that, but I always have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. God is in control, and He knows what He is doing.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
– Jeremiah 1:5
For many, many weeks I thought I was having a miscarriage, especially with the unexplained excessive bleeding, multiple tests needed, and what the doctors were telling me. I realize that the way our story is unfolding isn’t the way everyone’s pans out, and my heart aches when I think about my dearest friends and family members who have walked through the pain of miscarriage and loss. Nobody likes to talk about miscarriage, but please hear me today, friend: You are loved, and you are not alone. My prayers are daily and fervent for those who have been through (or are currently navigating) a similar situation. God has a purpose for you whether you are expecting or not, and His timing is impeccable.
God has a purpose for you whether you are expecting or not, and His timing is impeccable.
We have a long road ahead of us and many more months to go! We ask that you keep us in your daily prayers! We are excited and nervous at the same time. We know God has big plans for these two! I truly can’t wait to see what He has in store. Our hope is for a healthy pregnancy and babies.
There is a song that has touched me immensely during this time, and if you are in the middle of a season of uncertainty or fear, I hope the Lord uses these lyrics to touch you too…
Jesus I Believe
by Big Daddy Weave
I need to hear You now
I need to know it’s You
I’m standing on your promises
I know your Words are true
You’re bigger than what I see
That it’s You in exchange for me
‘Cause even the impossible is your reality
Jesus I believe
Jesus I believe…